Ancient TEXTS Video game Review: All Mediums!

[Ste]

Gather around the camp fire children as I text a tale of rainbow colors and light patterns, and meme's.

Medium: Apple Macintosh
Believed year: 1992
Game name: Lemmings
Review: Puppet your army of special people and derps, Hope some live! Well maybe..
Stars?: 9 outta 10

Medium: Apple Macintosh
Believed year: 1992
Game name: Spin Doctor
Review: Pin balls game GOT NOTHING on this Bitch.
Stars?: 10 / 10

Medium: 1992 Apple Macintosh
Believed year: 1996
Game name: Galaxy Quest?? Galaxy Domination.. Who knows.
Review: Here in this Light GUI You learn the Economics of slamming your species into over priced theory crafted vessels. Oh and avoid external xenocide I guess...
Stars?: 11/10

This thread shall continue for however many years video games exist.

Also if you wanna see THE games jus goto youtube and look them up. Anything in the last 25 years can go " Speed run or Games down quick ( GDQ) "

 

[Ste]

Medium: 1992 Apple Macintosh
Believed year: 1994?
Game name: Patirot Command
Review: What better way to teach 5/6 years old about War Games and the Cold war.
Stars?: 11/10



Medium: 1992 Apple Macintish
Believed year: 1994
Game name: Spectre 3D
Review: I mean for "tank" game in 1992 it was pretty cool.
Stars?: 9/10

Medium: 1992 Apple Macintish
Believed year: 1994?
Game name: Glider Pro
Review: The life and times of paper airplanes. Just like the little toaster that could.
Stars?: 11/10.



Medium: 1995 Apple Macintosh
Believed year: 1995
Game name: Descent
Review: Already happening in the asteriod belts
Stars?: 9001/9000

Edit:

Medium: 1992 Apple Macintosh
Believed year: ??? 1994
Game name: Wolfenstien 3D
Review: No typing needs be done on this one.
Stars?: Infinite

Did you guys know you could delete the shut down system and most critical operating system files on MACS circa 2000 and they wouldn't start to malfunction for awhile or until restart/shutdown. If it'd even let you.

 

[Ste]

Medium: 1992 Apple Macintosh
Believed year: 1996 ??
Game name: Sim City 2000
Review: Ahhh what can even be typed about this game.... I guess it at least teaches why city officials and city politicians are generally so irritable..
Stars?: DED 10/ 10

 

[Ste]

Medium: Atari or Nintendo 1 ( who knows)
Believed year: 1995
Game name: Mario
Review: OHHH BABY GET THOSE SHROOMS
Stars?: 5/5

Medium: Atari or nintendo one?
Believed year: 1995
Game name: Duck Hunter
Review: What better way to start your child off the riiIght way.
Stars?: 5/5

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 1998
Game name: Turok
Review: all the others just got worse
Stars?: 9001/9000

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 1998
Game name: Vigilant 8
Review: guns on cars post red button pushy
Stars?: 10/10

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 1998
Game name: Golden Eye 007
Review: They have YET to make a perfect PC remake with modern day graphics and physics. People would pay $150+ for it; if it were done right. Don't talk to me about these half assed MODS and skins..
Stars?: Non-Countable Infinity.


Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 1998
Game name: Command and Conquer Red Alert
Review: "" Your Orders are ""
Stars?: 10/10

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 1998
Game name: F-Zero X
Review: Ok so we learn different planet tracks have different physics. Space is weird.
Stars?: 9/10.


Medium: Sony Play Station 1
Believed year: 1999?
Game name: Twisted Metal
Review: Actually a fair bit better than Vigilante 8 on N64
Stars?: 8999/9000


Medium: Sony Play Station 1
Believed year: 2000????
Game name: Mortal Combat
Review: Once UFC fighters take vitamins and eat right. And eat Kale + Brocolli
Stars?: 9/10

 

[Ste]

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 1999??
Game name: Turok 2
Review: The last good Turok and OF COURSE. Still no perfect PC remakes with updated graphics and physics. I woulda paid $150+ if it were done right.
Stars?: 9042/9001

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 2000
Game name: Sarge's Hero's
Review: It is only then... We realize too late. The attrocities that our toys have seen... "" OH SHIT, Hey Sid.. ""
Stars?: 10/10

Medium: Nintedno 64
Believed Year: 2000
Game Name: Mario 64
Review: - no visual text data input required -
Stars?: Infinite

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 2001
Game name: Star Craft
Review: - OK Seriously you couldn't even have Hero units, units ranking up and map zoom size at this point?? Reall!Y!Y!? -
Stars?:

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed Year: 2002???
Game name: Turok 3
Review: A mostly forgetable experience. Unless Alcohol or drugs were involved.. Or trolling someone that doesn't play video games..
Stars?: 7/10

Medium: Nintendo 64
Believed year: 2001?
Game name: Star Fox
Review: Possible one of the best Rail Shooters of all time.
Stars?: 9001/9000

Medium: Custom PC ( AMD Athlon 3200+, ATI 9600 XT, 4 GB DDR1 )
Believed year: 2002
Game name: Star Wars Jedi Knights II
Review: The shit
Stars?: 9001/9000


Medium: Custom PC ( AMD Athlon 3200+, ATI 9600 XT, 4 GB DDR1 )
Believed year: 2003
Game name: Return To Castle Wolfenstein
Review: Possible only 1 of 2 Great remakes of Wolfenstein 3D. All the others were pretty trash; especially when all the extra fetch quests, item and ammo searchs and GTA like "progression" was added.
Stars?: 9001/9000

Medium: Custom PC ( AMD Athlon 3200+, ATI 9600 XT, 4 GB DDR1 )
Believed year: 2004?
Game name: Red Alert 2
Review: No text found.exe.. Audio found! " My feet hurt!! "
Stars?: 9001/9000

Medium: Custom PC ( AMD Athlon 3200+, ATI 9600 XT, 4 GB DDR1 )
Believed year: 2004?
Game name: Command and Conquer Zero Hour
Review: Wow, holy shit a company actually added unit ranking and better map zoom. Well Done.
Stars?: 10/10

Medium: Custom PC ( AMD Athlon 3200+, ATI 9600 XT, 4 GB DDR1 )
Believed year: 2002?
Game name: Star Trek Armada 2
Review: SO it had a lot of BUGS and glitchs!! But for 2002 or whatever it was elite dope pro fire GEN Alpha social statements. ET AL.
Stars?: 9001/9000


Medium: Custom PC ( AMD Athlon 3200+, ATI 9600 XT, 4 GB DDR1 )
Believed year: 2004?
Game name: Star Trek Bridge Commander
Review: Correctness
Stars?: 9001/9000

Pokemon Red and Blue and Sapphire /Emerald. Whatever. Whatever year. Infinite stars for it's time, coding and medium.

Medium: Custom PC ( Q6600 51% overclock, 8 GB DDR2, ATI 4870 X2)
Believed year: 2008 ?
Game name: Supreme Commander Forged Allainces
Review: What Star Craft 2 was susposed to be.
Stars?: 9001/9000..

 

[Ste]

Medium: PC ( Q6600 51% overclock, 8 GB DDR2, ATI 4870 X2)
Believed year: 2010?
Game name: Wolfstein ( 2010 )
Review: The Second Great and only 1 of 2 Wolfstein 3D remakes. If you likes Nazi crap and want a FPS you need only do Return to Castle Wolfenstien and Wolfstein ( From the year 2010 ish )
Stars?: Infinite



Medium: PC ( Q6600 51% overclock, 8 GB DDR2, ATI 4870 X2)
Believed year: 2013??
Game name: Star Craft 2
Review: Meh. Compared to how SC1 was at the time SC2 was very disapointing. No hero units, no unit customization, no unit ranking ups. un realistic maps. unrealistic unit size. JUST to NAME a few.
Stars?: 6/10.

Medium: PC ( Q6600 51% overclock, 8 GB DDR2, ATI 4870 X2)
Believed year: 2016?
Game name: Descent 3
Review: There are not words that can be put into Pixel light patterns...
Stars?: Infinite

Medium: PC ( I7 4790, 16 GB DDR3, Gigabyte NVIDIA GTX 980. )
Believed year: 2010
Game name: EvE Online
Review: Such a disapointment. lacking realistic physics, straight up wrong physics, no dynamic ship control, no power rerouting, no manual targeting, no joystick support.. Would you like a 15+ Page paper?
Stars?: 3/10 ( Try harder next time, WTB EvE Online II )

Medium: PC ( I7 4790, 16 GB DDR3, Gigabyte NVIDIA GTX 980.)
Believed year: 2023????
Game name: Elite Dangerious: Odyssey
Review: A even bigger disapointment than EvE Online. Way too much micro transaction encouragement, way too much side quest to grind in game currency and resources. Overly convulated play menu's and how to play. Progression system and ranking up WAY to slow..
Stars?: 2 / 10 ( Well... I guess you tried riight? )



This has been the Sell-A-q-WON-"di"-HOO and Don Mescalito signing out for the final time.. Peace Out & Live Long And Prosper.